Saturday, June 30, 2012

Different Personality types & traits

The more you understand of the different personality styles, the more you will understand and appreciate your strengths and weaknesses and that will help you to go through your success way .

- The Controlling style (Proactive, Self-directed, Thinking and Outcome-oriented)

Natural leaders .... Strong decision-makers ... Want clear goals and outcomes ... Ask directly for what they want ... Adventurers.
You can recognize Controlling styles by their intense interest in "getting to the point" and may at times step on toes to get it!
Careers for Controlling styles include directing activities, troubleshooting, supervision and anything requiring goal setting.
The opposite traits are supportive and Relaxed.

- The Outgoing style (Proactive, Other-referenced, Feeling and people/process oriented)
 

Naturally optimistic ... Eager to meet and greet people ... Talkative ... Prefer to discuss friendly topics, nothing negative ... Seek to have fun.
You can recognize Outgoing Styles by their happy, sometimes very proactive personal greeting, "Hi!" even when others are trying to focus or concentrate on something else.
Careers for Outgoing styles include public relations and just about anything with interactive people processes.
The opposite traits are Exacting and introspective.

- The Relaxed style (Responsive, Self-referenced, Feeling and People/Process oriented)

Peace-seeking ... listeners and observers ... long-term relationship oriented ... self-reflective ... enjoy a relaxed pace.
Relaxed styles are sometimes not as easy to recognize as they are often good listeners and may enjoy their observing, quiet position to that of being "front and center" and may deflect the focus of attention being solely on them.
Careers for Relaxed styles are planning processes and just about anything requiring relationship development.
The opposite traits are Controlling and urgent.

- The Exacting style (Responsive, Other-referenced, Thinking and Task/Outcome oriented)

Organized ... Analytical ... Loyal and fairness oriented ... Detailed ... Want to do right/fulfill their Duty.
Recognize the Exacting styles by their use of words like "should," "is this right/fair?" ; their love of getting things "right" may create situations where they may criticize others and point out every little mistake - to correct it, so it is right.
Careers for the Exacting style include  administration and just about any kind of quality control or detail review.
The opposite traits are generalizing and Outgoing.

- The Adaptive style (Responsive, Other-referenced, Feeling, People/ Process oriented)

Adaptive ... Flexible ... Like to present/hear more than one perspective ... Prefer to keep options open ... Versatile.
Recognizing Adaptive styles may take a little observation - the key comes when they begin asking for more options - one of their passions in life.
Careers for Adaptive styles include coordinating activities, being the middle or 'point person' of about any kind of group activity.
The opposite traits are very wide styles that are more predictable behaviorally.








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Friday, June 29, 2012

The Seed of honesty

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.
Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.
He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you.”
The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.”


One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed.
Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn’t have a plant and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by — still nothing in Jim’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn’t say anything to his colleagues, however… He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil – He so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.
Jim told his wife that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.
He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful — in all shapes and sizes.
Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.
Jim just tried to hide in the back. “My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown,” said the CEO. “Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!”
All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front.
Jim was terrified. He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!”
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!”
Jim couldn’t believe it. Jim couldn’t even grow his seed.
“How could he be the new CEO?” the others said.
Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!”

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
* If you plant faith in God , you will reap a harvest.
So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later..
“Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back”
Unknown Author ,,
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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Problem Solving Skills

Problem Solving: Is a process and skill that you develop over time to be used when needing to solve immediate problems in order to achieve a goal.

Problem solving steps:  

Step 1. Identify the problem

Firstly you need to identify and name the problem so that you can find an appropriate solution. You may not be clear of what the problem is or feel anxious/confused about what is getting in the way of your goals. Try talking to others, as this may help you identify the problem.

Step 2. Explore the problem

When you are clear about what the problem is you need to think about from different angles. You can ask yourself questions such as:
  • How is this problem affecting me?
  • How is it affecting others?
  • Who else experiences this problem?
  • What do they do about it?
Seeing the problem in different ways is likely to help you find an effective solution.

Step 3. Set goals

Once you have thought about the problem from different angles you can identify your goals. What is it that you want to achieve? Sometimes you may become frustrated by a problem and forget to think about what you want to achieve. For example, you might become ill, struggle to complete a number of assignments on time and feel so unmotivated that you let due dates pass.
  • Improve your health
  • Increase your time management skills
  • Complete the assignments to the best of your ability
  • Finish the assignments as soon as possible
If you decide your goal is to improve your health, that will lead to different solutions to those linked with the goal of completing your assignments as soon as possible. One goal may lead you to a doctor and another may lead you to apply for extensions for your assignments. So working out your goals is a vital part of the problem solving process.

Step 4. Look at Alternatives

When you have decided what your goal/s is you need to look for possible solutions. The more possible solutions you find the more likely it is that you will be able to discover an effective solution. You can brain-storm for ideas. The purpose of brain-storming is to collect together a long list of possibilities. It does not matter whether the ideas are useful or practical or manageable: just write down the ideas as they come into your head. Some of the best solutions arise from creative thinking during brain-storming. You can also seek ideas about possible solutions by talking to others. The aim is to collect as many alternative solutions as possible.

Step 5. Select a possible solution

From the list of possible solutions you can sort out which are most relevant to your situation and which are realistic and manageable. You can do this by predicting the outcomes for possible solutions and also checking with other people what they think the outcomes may be. When you have explored the consequences, you can use this information to identify the solution which is most relevant to you and is likely to have the best outcomes for your situation.

Step 6. Implement a possible solution

Once you have selected a possible solution you are ready to put it into action. You will need to have energy and motivation to do this because implementing the solution may take some time and effort. You can prepare yourself to implement the solution by planning when and how you will do it, whether you talk with others about it, and what rewards you will give yourself when you have done it.

Step 7. Evaluate

Just because you have implemented the best possible solution, you may not have automatically solved your problem, so evaluating the effectiveness of your solution is very important. You can ask yourself (and others) :
  • How effective was that solution?
  • Did it achieve what I wanted?
  • What consequences did it have on my situation?
If the solution was successful in helping you solve your problem and reach your goal, then you know that you have effectively solved your problem. If you feel dissatisfied with the result, then you can begin the steps again.


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The mountain's echo

A man and his son were walking in a forest. suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams,"ahhhhh !", surprised he hears a voice from the mountain, " ahhhhh...!"

filled with curiosity , he screams" who are you?" but the only answer he receives is " who r u?"

this makes him angry, so he screams," you are a coward !" and the voice answers" you are coward"

He looks at his father asking," dad, what is going on?"


the man replies ," son, pay attention."

Then he screams, " I admire you."

the voice answers," I admire u."

The father shouts," you are wonderful !"

the voice answers ," u r wondreful !"

Then the father explains, "people call this echo ,but truly it is life."

Life gives you back what u give out.

Life is a mirror of our actions.

If u want love, give more love...

If u want kindness , show more kindness....

SO WHAT REALLY IS IMPORTANT IS YOUR BEHAVIOUR IN FRONT OF OTHERS......


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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Put the glass down when you leave office today


A Professor began his class by holding up
a glass with some water in it.
He held it up for all to see & asked the students
“How much do you think this glass weighs?”
'50g!' ....
'100g!' ..... '125g'
..the students answered.
“I really don't know unless I weigh it,”
said the professor,
“but, my question is:
What would happen if I held it up like this
for a few minutes?”
'Nothing' …..the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.
'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student.
“You're right, now what would happen
if I held it for a day?”
“Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis &
have to go to hospital for sure!”
… ventured another student
& all the students laughed …
“Very good, But during all this,
did the weight of the glass change?”
asked the professor.
‘No’…. Was the answer.
“Then what caused the arm ache &
the muscle stress?”
The students were puzzled.
“What should I do now to come out of pain?”
asked professor again.
‘Put the glass down!’ said one of the students.
“Exactly!” said the professor.
Life's problems are something like this.
Hold it for a few minutes in your head &
they seem OK.
Think of them for a long time &
they begin to ache.
Hold it even longer &
they begin to paralyze you.
You will not be able to do anything.
It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life,
but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to
‘PUT THEM DOWN’
at the end of every day before
You go to sleep.
That way, you are not stressed,
you wake up every day fresh &
strong & can handle any issue,
any challenge that comes your way!
So, When you leave office today,
Remember my friend to …
'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!


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Monday, June 25, 2012

Enhance Your Life (1 - 10)

  The most selfish one letter word "I"... Avoid it

  The most satisfying two-letter word "WE"... Use it

  The most poisonous three-letter word "EGO"... Kill it

  The most used four-letter word "LOVE"... Value it

  The most pleasing five-letter word "SMILE"... Keep it

  The fastest spreading six-letter word "RUMOUR"... Ignore it

  The hardest working seven-letter word "SUCCESS"... Achieve it

  The most enviable eight-letter word "JEALOUSY"... Distance it

  The most powerful nine-letter word "KNOWLEDGE"... Acquire it

  The most essential ten-letter word "CONFIDENCE"... Trust it 

                      [Trust in Allah's Guidance]
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Friday, June 22, 2012

Believe in Yourself :)

Believe in yourself and you can accomplish anything in life.

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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Interpersonal skills

Interpersonal skills are those life skills we use every day to communicate and interact with other people, individually or in groups.
Interpersonal skills include not only how we communicate with others, but also our confidence and our ability to listen and understand. Problem solving, decision making and personal stress management are also considered interpersonal skills.
 People with strong interpersonal skills are usually more successful in both their professional and personal lives. They are perceived as more calm, confident and charismatic - qualities that are often endearing or appealing to others. Being more aware of your interpersonal skills can help you improve and develop them.
 Here are some of these skills which will discussed later with details:

- Learn To Listen: Listening is not the same as hearing. Take time to listen carefully to what others are saying through both their verbal and non-verbal communications.

-  Choose your words: Be aware of the words you are using when talking to others. Could you be misunderstood or confuse the issue?  Practise clarity and learn to seek feedback to ensure your message has been understood. Encourage others to engage in communication use appropriate questioning to develop your understanding.

- Understand why communication fails: By learning about the various barriers to good communication you can be aware of and reduce the likelihood of ineffective interpersonal communication.

- Relax: When we are nervous we tend to talk more quickly and therefore less clearly.  Being tense is also evident in our body language and other non-verbal communication. Instead, try to stay calm, make eye contact and smile.  Let your confidence shine.
-  Clarify: Show an interest in the people you talk to. Ask questions and seek clarification on any points that could be easily misunderstood.

- Be Positive: Try to remain positive and cheerful.  People are much more likely to be drawn to you if you can maintain a positive attitude.

- Understand stress: Learn to recognise, manage and reduce stress in others and yourself.  Although stress is not always bad it can have a detrimental effect on the communication process.

- Learn to be Assertive: You should aim to be neither passive nor aggressive. Being assertive is about expressing your feelings and beliefs in a way that others can understand and respect.  Assertiveness is fundamental to successful negotiation.

-
Reflect and Improve: Think about previous conversations and other interpersonal interactions; learn from your mistakes and successes.  Always keep a positive attitude but realise that we can all always improve our communication skills.
- Negotiate:  Learn how to effectively negotiate with others paving the way to mutual respect, trust and lasting interpersonal relations. 
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Saturday, June 16, 2012

Effective ways to get rid of depression ,,


In this world there will hardly be a person who can claim that he/she is free from any kind of depression. Depression is part of our life but it depends on an individual as how to get rid of it. Depression is a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity. It is an emotional disorder, and nothing to be ashamed of. But often, people who are in depression are suffering from pessimistic thoughts about themselves. These pessimistic thoughts lead to even further depression making a cycle that gets hard to stop. In depression a person loses his energy to cope with a challenge.
The following tips will come in handy in one place or another. I would suggest you to get a print out and display it in your room, office, and give it to your friends, or anywhere you spend much of your time.

 Keep Your Relation with Lord Strong:
This is the real key to optimism .
Just feel that Lord is always by your side so, no need to worry about anything and hence, get depressed , go closer to him, believe strongly and have faith in his abilities of changing your whole world in seconds.

Understand your liking:
This can be done efficiently by trying the following exercise:
Write down 5 things you like about someone you commend (you can choose a friend, relative, colleague or celebrity), then one thing you do not like about them.
After that, pick someone you don’t like. Write down 5 things you dislike about them and one thing you like about them. Then turn your views to yourself. Write down one thing you don’t like about yourself. After that, write down 5 things you really like about yourself. The exercise will help train the mind to focus on what is good about you, not what is bad.


Burn a piece of paper:
 Write down on a piece of paper what you don’t like about yourself, then burn that piece of paper and watch it disappear. It is an effective and symbolic gesture.


Flowers which smell good:
Scent followers, colorful lights and sunshine are good in reducing depression. Getting some fresh air can also help.

Change your eating habits:
An occasional treat does not hurt you, but make sure that your diet is based on fresh vegetables and fruits. A balanced diet keeps the nutrients in your body normal, which ultimately helps in getting rid of depression.

Talk to someone trustworthy:
It’s been observed in depression that talking to someone whom you trust, such as your close friend, a family member; even a counselor can help minimizing pressure on your mind. Talking or sharing with someone can release your tension to somehow. Try to avoid isolation.

Go outside:
Even a little sunshine can help improve your mood. Try to go outside and have some fresh air, reminding yourself that there’s a world out there and you can participate in it as much as you can handle.

Practice Yoga and Meditation:
Meditation is a kind of awareness of your mind, and yoga strengthens your body and spirit, which can bring happiness and health and helps getting rid of depression at the same time.

Dance keeps depression away:
Find some time and place to dance alone for a few minutes each day on a melodious music or take some dancing classes. It will release your tension and will leave you feeling better about yourself.

Change the Way of Thinking:
 When you’re in tension you always think that you are all alone, no one cares about you, and your world is coming to an end. Maybe you are going through a horrible situation that is causing such feelings. It will change your mood if you change the way you think. Apparently it seems not so easy to do and it is certainly a long process. Start slowly, for example whenever you get pessimistic thoughts go out for a long walk and think something good about yourself or watch a funny movie. Remember it’s a long process so you won’t see results very soon. After awhile you will feel that you are no longer depressed and you have no depressing thoughts!
Exercise regularly:
Half an hour to one hour exercise depending upon the capacity of the body is very essential. Any physical exercise can keep your mind and body strong and active. Doing exercise in an open and fresh air gives you extra benefit as we intake more oxygen. It helps you in reducing depression by maintaining the level of mood and emotional instincts. Physical exercise helps you in dealing with any stressful situation.

Get sufficient Sleep:
Get a sufficient amount of sleep everyday and try to follow a regular schedule for your eating as mentioned above. Imbalance or disorder of sleep can further deteriorate the depression.

Avail small pleasures:
It is important to avail small happiness in life. Don’t expect happinesses to come all the time. Try to set small and achievable goals in life and make efforts as much as you can to achieve the same. When you achieve these goals it will give u happiness thus reducing depression.

Play with children:
Playing with children is a great activity which helps in reducing depression. Children are a source of happiness and playing with them can bring happiness in your life too.

Avoid alcohol and drugs:
Using alcohol or drugs and smoking may give temporary relief but when a person gets addicted, it gives a life time trouble to get rid of such habits. So keep yourself away from such bad habits and make your life healthy and productive.
By following the above points you would be able to see positive change, making your life depression-free.




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Effective TeamWork ..

A team is defined as a group of people collaborating together to achieve some predefined goals with a high grade of efficiency and effectiveness which would not be accomplished otherwise i.e. by working individually.

A very commonly used elaboration of the term TEAM is  "Together Everyone Achieve More". That means the sum total of volume & quality of individual output is less than the collective team output contributed by same number of people working for the same goal.

The following are eight characteristics of effective teams the were identified by Larson and LaFasto in their book titled Teamwork: What Must Go Right/What Can Go Wrong (Sage Publications 1989).


  1. The team must have a clear goal:
    Avoid fuzzy, motherhood statements. Team goals should call for a specific performance objective, expressed so concisely that everyone knows when the objective has been met.
  2. The team must have a results-driven structure:
    The team should be allowed to operate in a manner that produces results. It is often best to allow the team to develop the structure.
  3. The team must have competent team members:In the education setting this can be take to mean that the problem given to the team should be one that the members can tackle given their level of knowledge.
  4. The team must have unified commitment:
    This doesn't mean that team members must agree on everything. It means that all individuals must be directing their efforts towards the goal. If an individual's efforts is going purely towards personal goals, then the team will confront this and resolve the problem.
  5. The team must have a collaborative climate:
    It is a climate of trust produced by honest, open, consistent and respectful behavior. With this climate teams perform well...without it, they fail.
  6. The team must have high standards that are understood by all. Team members must know what is expected of them individually and collectively. Vague statements such as "positive attitude" and "demonstrated effort" are not good enough.
  7. The team must receive external support and encouragement:
    Encouragement and praise works just as well in motivating teams as it does with individuals.
  8. The team must have principled leadership:
    Teams usually need someone to lead the effort. Team members must know that the team leader has the position because they have good leadership skills and are working for the good of the team. The team members will be less supportive if they feel that the team leader is putting him/herself above the team, achieving personal recognition or otherwise benefiting from the position.



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Friday, June 15, 2012

Team Working

 For most of us, teamwork is a part of everyday life. Whether it's at home, in the community, or at work, we are often expected to be a functional part of a performing team. Having a strong team will benefit any organization and will lead to more successes than not.
Teamwork can be defined as "a joint action by a group of people, in which each person subordinates his or her individual interests and opinions to the unity and efficiency of the group." 
This does not mean that the individual is no longer important; however, it does mean that effective and efficient teamwork goes beyond individual accomplishments. The most effective teamwork is produced when all the individuals involved harmonize their contributions and work towards a common goal.          

Benefits of Team Working:  
  1. More creativity leading to more ideas and better results.
  2. Increased employee satisfaction.
  3. The opportunity to develop and acquire new skills.
  4. The speed at which things can be achieved.
  5. A sounding board for testing out ideas and thoughts.
  6. A support network that you can draw on.                                                                                 
Stages of Team Building or Team Growth:

Stage 1: Forming. When a team is forming, members cautiously explore the boundaries of acceptable group behavior. They search for their position within the group and test the leader's guidance. It is normal for little team progress to occur during this stage.

Stage 2: Storming. Storming is probably the most difficult stage for the group. Members often become impatient about the lack of progress, but are still inexperienced with working as a team. Members may argue about the actions they should take because they faced with ideas that are unfamiliar to them and put them outside their comfort zones. Much of their energy is focused on each other instead of achieving the goal.

Stage 3. Norming. During this stage team members accept the team and begin to reconcile differences. Emotional conflict is reduced as relationships become more cooperative. The team is able to concentrate more on their work and start to make significant progress.

Stage 4. Performing. By this stage the team members have discovered and accepted each others' strengths and weaknesses, and learned what their roles are. Members are open and trusting and many good ideas are produced because they are not afraid to offer ideas and suggestions. They are comfortable using decision making tools to evaluate the ideas, prioritize tasks and solve problems. Much is accomplished and team satisfaction and loyalty is high.



                                                                                                        
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Self Confidence ...

Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect. Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.
To Build Your Self Confidence:

1- Get ready for work:
There is most likely not one other solitary action stronger in enhancing personal – self-confidence rather than put together whenever possible for that daily duties. By simply planning and remaining in front of the game, removes anxiousness and makes a person much better in a position to handle the unavoidable shocks.

2. Know yourself:
 An additional main element of personal – self-confidence is understanding your individual objectives and wishes. Achievement is determined by every individual, but unless of course guess what happens you want from existence and exactly where you need to be, the chances are you will evaluate you to ultimately other people and impractical requirements. Understanding your self each motivates you to definitely go after your objectives as well as guards you against unneeded emotions of the best which come from not receiving what you wouldn’t want anyhow.

 3. Put self-confidence within your body:
 Do undervalue the strength of position. Individuals subconsciously study into individuals character just depending on how they have on their own. Should you sit down and remain high, you aren’t only prone to feel good but individuals will also deal with your best. And it’s the same with grinning. It does no harm to grin, and many individuals will react favorably.

  4.Face your worries:
 Once you have currently relocated in the future towards personal – self confidence, it is suitable to face your worries. This can be facing a colleague or boss with some problems, dealing with a particular new obligation or requesting an increase. You are able to consider personal self-confidence at work as a kind of spin out of controlling stairs. You may be heading spherical and spherical in the same location, but you need to be shifting up-wards. The only method to do this would be to consider particular daring measures. Facing your worries, even when they are not effective out precisely as you may have wished, placing a minimum of an additional action greater around the spin out of control step of self confidence.


Basic Actions to keep high self confidence in your life: 

1.Smile typically to on your own and other individuals. Introduce yourself to other individuals if you see them and inquire of where did they be and exactly how a full day will go. Have healthy posture. 
  yourself. 

 2.Think really. Every time a bad imagined goes in your head, end and quickly kitchen counter at which has a beneficial imagined on the same issue. 

 3.Be Wonderful to other individuals and turn into wonderful to yourself. However, never decay other individuals and decay yourself. 

4.Face your anxieties and tend to forget your downfalls (soon after studying under them). Target your triumphs and success. Make it rewarding if you have great results.

5.Quit thinking of looking to be excellent. We’re not, so just realize that as it’s. Avoid being way to cut-throat and assessment on your own web-sites. 

6.Don’t bother about what other individuals imagine you. Try to be you. Most people are home consumed and thinking of themselves at any rate. 

7.Hang out with people that are optimistic and  have substantial confidence. But when you are around negative people, try to direct your positive and optimistic thoughts in their direction.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Trust Yourself :)

Hey You ...

                                 You ... You .. Yes, you !
Stop being unhappy with yourself , You are Prefect :) .
Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people were liked you as much as they like someone else.
Stop trying getting attention from those who hurt you.
Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks .. love them :).
Without those things you wouldn't be you . and why would you want to be someone else !!!
Be confident with who you are and smile, it will draw people in. If any one hates you because you are happy with yourself, just say "My happiness will not depend on others anymore" , I'm happy because I loves who I'm, I love my flaws, I love my imperfections. They makes me me and 'me' is pretty amazing.  

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Sunday, June 3, 2012

Negative Attitudes that Block Creativity ..

1. Oh no, a problem! 
The reaction to a problem is often a bigger problem than the problem itself. Many people avoid or deny problems until it's too late, largely because these people have never learned the appropriate emotional, psychological, and practical responses. A problem is an opportunity. The happiest people welcome and even seek out problems, meeting them as challenges and opportunities to improve things. Definition: a problem is (1) seeing the difference between what you have and what you want or (2) recognizing or believing that there is something better than the current situation or (3) an opportunity for a positive act. Seeking problems aggressively will build confidence, increase happiness, and give you a better sense of control over your life.

2. It can't be done. 
This attitude is, in effect, surrendering before the battle. By assuming that something cannot be done or a problem cannot be solved, a person gives the problem a power or strength it didn't have before. And giving up before starting is, of course, self fulfilling. But look at the history of solutions and the accompanying skeptics: man will never fly, diseases will never be conquered, rockets will never leave the atmosphere. Again, the appropriate attitude is summed up by the statement, "The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer." 

3. I can't do it. Or There's nothing I can do. 
 Some people think, well maybe the problem can be solved by some expert, but not by me because I'm not (a) smart enough, (b) an engineer, or (c) a blank (whether educated, expert, etc.) Again, though, look at the history of problem solving.
Who were the Wright brothers that they could invent an airplane? Aviation engineers? No, they were bicycle mechanics. The ball point pen was invented by a printer's proofreader, Ladislao Biro, not a mechanical engineer. Major advances in submarine design were made by English clergyman G. W. Garrett and by Irish schoolmaster John P. Holland. The cotton gin was invented by that well known attorney and tutor, Eli Whitney. The fire extinguisher was invented by a captain of militia, George Manby.
And so on. In fact, a major point made by recent writers about corporate excellence is that innovations in industry almost always come from individuals (not research groups) outside of the area of the invention. General Motors invented Freon, the refrigeration chemical, and tetraethyl lead, the gasoline additive. Kodachrome was invented by two musicians. The continuous steel casting process was invented by a watchmaker (fooling around with brass casting). Soap making chemists turned down the problem of inventing synthetic detergents: those detergents were invented by dye making chemists.
In a nutshell, a good mind with a positive attitude and some good problem solving skills will go far in solving any problem. Interest in and commitment to the problem are the keys. Motivation--a willingness to expend the effort--is more important than laboratory apparatus. And remember that you can always do something. Even if you cannot totally eradicate the problem from the face of the earth, you can always do something to make the situation better.

4. But I'm not creative. 
 Everyone is creative to some extent. Most people are capable of very high levels of creativity; just look at young children when they play and imagine. The problem is that this creativity has been suppressed by education. All you need to do is let it come back to the surface. You will soon discover that you are surprisingly creative.

5. That's childish. 
 In our effort to appear always mature and sophisticated, we often ridicule the creative, playful attitudes that marked our younger years. But if you solve a problem that saves your marriage or gets you promoted or keeps your friend from suicide, do you care whether other people describe your route to the solution as "childish?" Besides, isn't play a lot of fun? Remember that sometimes people laugh when something is actually funny, but often they laugh when they lack the imagination to understand the situation.

6. What will people think? 
There is strong social pressure to conform and to be ordinary and not creative.
Here are some overheard examples:
Creative Person: "I like to put water in my orange juice so it's less sweet."
Ordinary Person: "You're weird, you know?"
Ordinary Person: "What are you doing?"
Creative Person: "We're painting our mailbox."
Ordinary Person: "You're crazy."
Creative Person: "Why don't we add a little garlic?"
Ordinary Person: "Because the recipe doesn't call for garlic."
Ordinary Person: "Why are you going this way? It's longer."
Creative Person: "Because I like the drive."
Ordinary Person: "Did anyone ever tell you you're strange?"
The constant emphasis we see in society is toward the ruthlessly practical and conformist. Even the wild fashions, from those in Vogue to punk rock, are narrowly defined, and to deviate from them is considered wrong or ridiculous. Some peoples' herd instinct is so strong that they make sheep look like radical individualists.
So, what will people think? Well, they're already talking about you, saying that your nose is too big or your shoes are funny or you date weird people. So, since others are going to talk about you in unflattering ways anyway, you might as well relax and let your creativity and individualism flow.
Almost every famous contributor to the betterment of civilization was ridiculed and sometimes even jailed. Think about Galileo. And look what happened to Jesus. Quotation: "Progress is made only by those who are strong enough to endure being laughed at." Solutions are often new ideas, and new ideas, being strange, are usually greeted with laughter, contempt, or both. That's just a fact of life, so make up your mind not to let it bother you. Ridicule should be viewed as a badge of real innovative thinking.

7. I might fail. 
 Thomas Edison, in his search for the perfect filament for the incandescent lamp, tried anything he could think of, including whiskers from a friend's beard. In all, he tried about 1800 things. After about 1000 attempts, someone asked him if he was frustrated at his lack of success. He said something like, "I've gained a lot of knowledge--I now know a thousand things that won't work."
Fear of failure is one of the major obstacles to creativity and problem solving. The cure is to change your attitude about failure. Failures along the way should be expected and accepted; they are simply learning tools that help focus the way toward success. Not only is there nothing wrong with failing, but failing is a sign of action and struggle and attempt--much better than inaction. The go-with-the- flow types may never fail, but they are essentially useless to humanity, nor can they ever enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes after a long struggle.
Suppose you let your fear of failure guide your risk taking and your attempts. You try only three things in a year because you are sure of succeeding. At the end of the year the score is: Successes 3, Failures 0. Now suppose the next year you don't worry about failing, so you try a hundred things. You fail at 70 of them. At the end of the year the score is Successes 30, Failures 70. Which would you rather have--three successes or 30--ten times as many? And imagine what 70 failures will have taught you. Proverb: Mistakes aren't fun, but they sure are educational.

 
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Saturday, June 2, 2012

Improve yourself ,, Reduce your Ego ...

Ego is simply an idea of who you are that you carry around with you. As such, it cannot be surgically removed by having an egoectomy! This idea of who you think you are will persistently erode any possibility you have of connecting to intention.
Here we will show you simple steps to reduce your Ego, hence, you will have a better character.

Step 1) Stop being offended
When we get offended, it is really our ego at work. We take something that someone did or said personally, and make it wrong. Getting offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place and leads to an escalated situation of negative energy, thus moving us away from our connection to source.

Step 2) Let go of the need to win
It is our ego that divides the world into winners and losers. While performing to the best of our abilities is necessary, the real problem happens when we start associating our  self-worth to winning. If our self-worth is associated with winning, sooner or later we will get disconnected from source, as it not possible to win all the time. There will always be someone faster, stronger, younger, smarter on some day.

Step 3) Let go of the need to be right
The natural job of the ego is to make ourselves right, and make others wrong. Being connected to our source is being kind, loving, receptive and at peace, without any anger, resentment or bitterness.  Giving power to the ego is encouraging it's natural hostility, and when one is hostile, he is disconnected from the source. The ego is the reason many beautiful relationships are destroyed. In moments when the ego kicks in strongly, one can ask ourselves  “Do we want to be right or do we want to be happy?” Choosing to be happy keeps our connection to our source and helps us create the life we want.

Step 4) Let go of the need to be superior
All of us are equal in the eyes of God. Each and every person is a manifestation of divinity. We all have a special purpose of our own. No one is inferior or superior. However it is natural for the ego to identify others on the basis of their appearance, achievements, intelligence and possessions, and judge itself as superior in some way. A superiority complex is a form of hostility, and attracts back only hostile feelings, and keeps us disconnected with source.

Step 5) Let go of the need to have more
The ego is never satisfied and always wants more. No matter how much one achieves or acquires, it is never enough for the ego. However this constant need of wanting more keeps one perpetually in a state of lack, and only brings back more lack. Instead, when we let go of this need to have more, we naturally start attracting abundance in our life. The nature of source is to be contended, without any lack, and hence contentment is necessary to be connected to the source.

Step 6) Stop identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements
The ego’s concept is that “I did it” - It is I who achieved everything. All spiritual students are taught that “We are not the doer”. What does that mean? It means giving up the need to take credit for all achievements. A person advanced on the path realizes that ultimately all talents are given by Him, and the credit for all achievements also goes to Him. We just need to be grateful that He has given us unique talents with which we fulfill our purpose in this world. Taking all credit for our achievements is like the pen taking credit for writing a poem that the poet penned down. As long as we think “we did it”, the ego is active and we are disconnected from our source.

Step 7) Let go of your reputation
Your reputation lies in the minds of others and you have no control over it. When we are overly concerned about what others think of us, we are disconnected from our source and become a slave to others' opinions. The real voice to listen to the voice of the heart - in doing so one is truly connected to his purpose and fully connected to the source. Your reputation has nothing to do with you - so let others debate over it.
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Friday, June 1, 2012

Creativity Methods

Evolution:
This is the method of incremental improvement. New ideas stem from other ideas, new solutions from previous ones, the new ones slightly improved over the old ones. Many of the very sophisticated things we enjoy today developed through a long period of constant incrementation. Making something a little better here, a little better there gradually makes it something a lot better--even entirely different from the original.

The evolutionary method of creativity also reminds us of that critical principle: Every problem that has been solved can be solved again in a better way. Creative thinkers do not subscribe to the idea that once a problem has been solved, it can be forgotten, or to the notion that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." A creative thinker's philosophy is that "there is no such thing as an insignificant improvement."


Synthesis:
  With this method, two or more existing ideas are combined into a third, new idea. Combining the ideas of a magazine and an audio tape gives the idea of a magazine you can listen to, one useful for blind people or freeway commuters.

  Revolution:
 Sometimes the best new idea is a completely different one, an marked change from the previous ones. While an evolutionary improvement philosophy might cause a professor to ask, "How can I make my lectures better and better?" a revolutionary idea might be, "Why not stop lecturing and have the students teach each other, working as teams or presenting reports?"
 
Reapplication:
Look at something old in a new way. Go beyond labels. Unfixate, remove prejudices, expectations and assumptions and discover how something can be reapplied. One creative person might go to the junkyard and see art in an old model T transmission. He paints it up and puts it in his living room. Another creative person might see in the same transmission the necessary gears for a multi-speed hot walker for his horse. He hooks it to some poles and a motor and puts it in his corral. The key is to see beyond the previous or stated applications for some idea, solution, or thing and to see what other application is possible.
  Changing Direction:
 Many creative breakthroughs occur when attention is shifted from one angle of a problem to another. This is sometimes called creative insight.
This reveals a critical truth in problem solving: the goal is to solve the problem, not to implement a particular solution. When one solution path is not working, shift to another. There is no commitment to a particular path, only to a particular goal. Path fixation can sometimes be a problem for those who do not understand this; they become over-committed to a path that does not work and only frustration results.
Classic Creativity Methods


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