Become internally driven ,not externally driven

One day, if someone gets up on the right side of the bed and calls me and says, "You are the greatest person on earth. You are doing a great job and I want you to know I am honored to call you a friend," I know he is sincere. How does it make me feel? Great.

 But the next day, he gets up on the wrong side of the bed, picks up the phone and

says, "You rascal, you cheat, you crook! You are the biggest fraud in town." How does it make me
feel? Terrible.

So the first day when he says "you are the greatest guy," I feel great and the next day
when he says "you rascal," I feel terrible. 

Who is controlling my life? Obviously, he is. Is that the way I want to go through life? Not at all. That is being externally driven.
I want to be internally driven. When he calls me and says I am the greatest guy, it is good to hear those words. But even if he doesn't say those words, in my own estimation, I am still a good human being. And the next day when he rips me apart, he can't really, because in my own estimation, I am still a good human being. When people make statements like, "You make me angry," the focus of control is external. But if I say I am
angry or I choose to be angry, the focus of control is internal.

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
There is a story about an ancient Indian sage who was called ugly names by a passerby. The sage listened unperturbed till the man ran out of words. He asked the man, "If an offering is not accepted, who does it belong to?" The man replied, "It belongs to the person who offered it." The sage said, "I refuse to accept your offering," and walked away, leaving the man dazed. The sage was internally driven........Are you????

 

 

 

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Are Your Thoughts Killing You ?!!

 Are Your Thoughts Killing You ?!!

Your thoughts are not real ...

Surprised !!! OK :)

Let me explain it ....Your thoughts are your own imaginations, just like your dreams ..... Suppose you are in sleep and having a dream it appears real till the moment you get up .... similarly your mind produce more than 50000 thoughts in a day , and most of them are never true .... 

Suppose you called a dear friend,and he did not pick up a phone, Now following thoughts will creep in your mind, he is ignoring me, other things are more important than my call, or a fear that something is happened to him and most of the the time the reality is, he is away from the phone so he could not pick it up .... Now by the time you knew reality,you have stressed yourself enough,without any reason and you have produced all type of thoughts and troubled your already troubled mind .... 

Don't imagine things ,Most of them actually are redundant thoughts, which is destroying your inherent intelligence ..... The best thing is do not sit idle to produce these thoughts, get yourself involved in any activity and absorb yourself in that and enjoy the process ..... 

More busy you are in anything,lesser time to have any thoughts.....Seems difficult !!! 

Remember when you were child and learning to walk, you fell many times, but you did get up,so WHY NOW????......Every thing is difficult before it becomes easy....

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Dealing with mistakes ..

Here is a simple 3 step approach for dealing with mistakes.

Step 1: Admit that you made a mistake

First admit you made a mistake to yourself. Then, if there is someone else involved, admit you made a mistake to them and apologise. The words, "I made a mistake and I’m sorry" are a great first step to resolving a conflict.
Denying that you made a mistake does not solve anything and simply prolongs the negative energy associated with the situation.

Step 2: Identify the lesson that comes with your mistake

The good news is that every mistake comes with a built in lesson that can help you improve your life in the future. To find your hidden lesson ask yourself, "What can I learn from this situation?"
By finding the hidden lesson within your mistake, you immediately transform the situation from a negative experience to a useful learning experience.

Step 3: Forgive yourself and let it go

All too often we dwell on our mistakes and continue to beat ourselves up over what happened. Once you have admitted your mistake and identified the lesson it carries, let go of the mistake, forgive yourself and move on. If a similar situation arises in the future, you are now better prepared to choose the right course of action.

Difficult but not impossible,give a try next time...:)

 

 

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Love yourself ...

Don't be too hard on yourself .

There are plenty of people willing to do that for you.

Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do.

Even mistakes mean you are trying.

There is always something to be thankful for .

Life is short, think positive .. You are worth it ...

Beautiful things happen in your life when you distance yourself from all negative thoughts .

Love yourself ... Be Happy ... and keep going on :) 

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Improve your personality

As we talked before about developing our characters or personalities and mentioned the main principals that we must take in consideration , today we are going to talk about how to improve our personalities or simply, the ways by which we can accomplish enhancing our characters or personalities.

Be a better listener:

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes,  hang on their every word, and make them feel important. There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel like you're the only person in the world.
  
Read more and expand your interests:

The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with them. 

Be a good conversationalist:

This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. No one can read about or know everything, so it's refreshing to learn from others those things we don't have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a group lthat encourages you to talk about what you know.

Have an Opinion:

There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however, you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and stimulating to be with socially (unless you're a know-it-all, of course).  A unique outlook expands everyone's perspective.
  
Meet New People:

Make the effort to meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons. 

Be yourself:

The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you're not. Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.
  
Have a positive outlook and attitude:

Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your presence.

Be fun and see the humorous side of life:

Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or smile, so look for the humorous, quirky side in a situation - there always is one. Comic relief is a much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to mention grateful.
  
Be supportive of others:

Being supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate into your personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps pick us up when we're down.
  
Have Integrity and treat people with respect:

Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's personality more than integrity and respect - respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.

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Develop Your Character

There is no doubt that as we live, we should strive to improve our characters in order to have a "good character" or a" good personality", so we can be likeable, interesting and all people are pleased to be with us, also to reflect happiness and positivity to our surroundings ...


Also, believe in that you can choose to develop your personality either to good or bad ... strengthen and improving it is under your own control , only you who can allow you character to be enhanced.

To start developing your character, consider the following tips in your mind.

Remain flexible  

 

Most people don't like change, and character change can be painful and uncomfortable. When starting the character-building process, remember that your efforts could turn out just as you planned, better than you anticipated, worse than you expected, or just plain different.

Solicit honest feedback about your existing character

 

Asking for frank and sincere feedback requires openness and vulnerability. This means that you can and most likely will get your feelings hurt. When this happens, don't brood or sulk; look for truth in the feedback that can be used to build your character-not tear it down.

Learn from your failures

 

 Admit it and accept appropriate responsibility for any failures you make. Do not blame others. If possible, repair any damage, fix the problem, and set the situation right. Identify key lessons learned from every mistake or failure for future improvement.

Make tough ethical decisions

 

Improving your character inevitably requires taking a hard stand on moral issues. You may have to swallow your pride, deal with unfairness and be unpopular when making good decisions involving difficult issues.

Handle success properly

 

 Success tests a person's character better than failure does. If you define success based solely on how many possessions you have; how much money you have in the bank, and fame or achievements; you are in danger of weakening your character.

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Everything happen for a reason, Believe in yourself :)

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were
meant to be there.  To serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or
help figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible,
painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming
those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will
power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of
good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer
stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small
tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.
Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you
experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned
from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because
they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious
to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they
love you, but because they are teaching you to love and to open your heart
and eyes to little things. Make every day count.

Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can,
for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let
yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a
great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in
yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go
out and live it.

"If you take your eyes off your goals, all you see are obstacles."

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Secrets of success

Many people want to be successful in their lives for more personal fulfillment and joy. The definition of success can have a different meaning for everyone. Although everyone has their own way of finding success, there are certain things that you need to be aware of in order to have more joy and fulfillment. Make a habit of practicing these fifteen points so that you can be the rock star of your life!

1. How You Think is Everything.
Always be positive. Think Success, not Failure. Beware of a negative environment. This trait has to be one of the most important in the entire list. Your belief that you can accomplish your goals has to be unwavering. The moment you say to yourself “I can’t…”, then you won’t. I was always given the advice “never say I can’t” and I’d like to strike those words from the dictionary.
I’ve found that from time-to-time my attitude waivers. A mentor of mine once said “it’s ok to visit pity city, but you can’t stay and there comes a time when you need to leave”. Positive things happen to positive people.

2. Decide upon Your True Dreams and Goals:
Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them. Write down my dreams and goals? Develop a plan to reach them? You mean like a project plan? Yes, that’s exactly what this means. You may have heard the old adage: A New Years resolution that isn’t written down is just a dream, and dreams are not goals.
Goals are those concrete, measurable stepping stones of achievement that track your progress towards your dreams.

3. Take Action:
Goals are nothing without action. Be like Nike and “Just do it”. I took action by reaching out and started writing. Every day I try to take some action towards my goals. It may be small, but it’s still an action. Have you taken action towards your goals?


4. Never Stop Learning:
Go back to school or read books. Get training & acquire skills. Becoming a life long learner would benefit us all and is something we should instill in our kids. It’s funny that once you’re out of school you realize how enjoyable learning can be.


5. Be Persistent and Work Hard:
Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.I think every story of success I read entails long hard hours of work. There is no getting around this and there is no free lunch. But, if you’re working towards something that you’re passionate about, something you love – then is it really work?


6. Learn to Analyze Details:
Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes. I think you have to strike a balance between getting all the facts and making a decision with incomplete data – both are traits of successful people. Spend time gathering details, but don’t catch ‘analysis paralysis’.


7. Focus Your Time And Money:
Don’t let other people or things distract you. Remain laser focused on your goals and surround yourself with positive people that believe in you. Don’t be distracted by the naysayer’s or tasks that are not helping you achieve your goals.

8. Don’t Be Afraid To Innovate:
Be different. Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity. Follow through on that break-out idea you have. Ask yourself “What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?”


9. Deal And Communicate With People Effectively:
No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others. Successful people develop and nurture a network and they only do that by treating people openly, fairly and many times firmly. There is nothing wrong about being firm – just don’t cross the a-hole line.


10. Be Honest And Dependable:
Take responsibility, otherwise numbers 1 – 9 won’t matter.

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Don't waste your time

You think you aren't Pretty, there is always someone Uglier.
You want more Money, many people are in Poverty.
You want many Friends, someone doesn't even have Parents.
You are Hungry, a child is Starving.
You want to go to the Mall, someone is looking for anything he can wear just to stay warm.
You are Chilly, others are Frozen.
You just want to Die, Most people want to Live.

So, don't waste your time on things that you think you want because there is always someone out there who need it much more than you could ever possibly know.
Also, be Thankful for what Allah gave you, poverty can be beyond imagination.

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Be Patient

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence ....

Talent will not; nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.....

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is a proverb....

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

So, always be patient in your life ... u will get what u wanna ;)

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Why smiling ?!!

 It is a fact that the world looks beautiful when you are smiling and you looks the prettiest one ever when you smile. Smiling is a great way to make yourself stand out while helping your body to function better. Smile to improve your health, your stress level, and your attractiveness. Smiling is just one fun way to live longer :)

Now, Read about other reasons for your smile:

1- It makes you attractive: 

Your face is public property and it should give always smile at everyone. An unpleasant face can destroy the others' mood and why should you allow yourself to inflict your stress to others. Just imagine how much beautiful would the world be if we all smiled at each other?

We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away -- but a smile draws them in. 

2- It changes your mood:

When you are feeling depressed, frustrated or simply feeling down, try to put a smile on your face, your mood will be changed to better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3- Smiling is infectious:

When you smiles, not only you will feel happy but you will affect others' as well and makes everything beautiful. With smiling face, you can bring happiness with them. Smile a lot and you will draw people to you.

4- Smiling relieves stresses:

With smile, you can throw your stress away from your face. Smiling helps you to prevent you from looking tired, overwhelmed and worn down. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you'll be better able to take action.

5- Smiling enhance your immune system:

While smiling, your immune function system improves because you feel relaxed and thus prevent you from the colds and flu. So smiling can also helpful to keep you away from medicines.

  

6- Smiling lifts the face and let you looks younger:

The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don't go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day -- you'll look younger and feel better.

7- Smiling reduces your blood pressure:

There is a great reduction in your blood pressure when you smile. So try to smile if you have a blood pressure monitoring system at home. Take a reading and sit for while. After then, smile for at least one minute and then again check reading while still smile at your face.

8- Smiling is linked with heart and wisdom:

Smiling is linked to the heart and to wisdom. The wisdom of a human being begins with thoughts in the heart, but if it remains there the wisdom is self-serving. In order for that wisdom to make the world a better place it needs to be expressed through the mouth. When we open our mouths and speak we share ourselves with the world. Smiling is a symbol of our willingness to open ourselves up to others.

9- Smiling makes you seem Successful:

Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10 - Smiling helps you to stay positive:

Try this amazing test. Smile and then try to think something negative without losing your smile. You will feel it’s hard for you to think negative while smiling. This is because when we smile, a message is send to whole body that “Life is beautiful!” So stay away from depression, worry and stress by smiling.

 

 

 

 

 

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Tips for a beautiful life

This article contains some “tips” that may bring you a beautiful life. Read them, live by them more fully, and I promise you will experience a beautiful life!

• Take a 10-30 minute walk every day and while you walk, smile.
   
• Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
   
• When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, “My purpose is to … today.”
   
• Live with the 3 E’s: Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy, and the 3 F’s: Faith, Family, Friends.
   
• Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
   
• Dream more while you are awake.
   
• Try to make at least three people smile each day.
   
• Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn, pass all your tests. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
   
• Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
   
• Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
   
• Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
   
• Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
   
• You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagreements.
   
• Make peace with your past, so it won’t mess up the present.
   
• Don’t compare your life with others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
   
• Burn the candles, use the nice sheets. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
   
• No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
   
• Forgive everyone for everything.
   
• What other people think of you is none of your business.
   
• Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
   
• However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
   
• Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will stay in touch.
   
• Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful.
   
• The best is yet to come… Believe.
   
• No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
   
• Do the right thing!
   
• Call your family often.
   
• Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: “I am thankful for…” – “Today I accomplished…”
   
• Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
   
• Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. Make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

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Forgive Yourself

"Forgiveness, we forgive others much more easily than we forgive ourselves."

 How easily do we recall our past errors and how easily do we forget our past triumphs?

Going over and over our errors so we relive them time and time again, yet when we achieve something we write it off easily to luck, circumstances or because of somebody else.

Learn from the errors (we all have them), and grow with each success, each one is a stepping stone to where you want to go.

Celebrate, and pat yourself on the back, if you are waiting for somebody else to do it you may wait a long time.
Then eyes on your next achievement.

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Optimism is a Key

If You expect the worst, The worst will happen.
You are Your Own STRESS, Your Own ANGER, Your Own SADNESS and FRUSTRATION.
If you let things Bother You, They WILL so, don't let them and JUST BE HAPPY :) 
Nothing in life is easy, so make the best of all of it.

Don't Dwell on The Negatives ,,,
                                            Optimism is a Key.

 

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